Deployment is around the corner and I'm stuck in that psychotic flurry of emotions, including but not limited to: anger, sadness, loneliness, anxiety (shocker) and just plain crazy.
I found this pin yesterday that was just awesome at describing the cycle of emotions surrounding deployment. Check it:
Click below to read more...
So I'm in the anticipation/dread stage.
I find myself absolutely saying, "Well, I may as well get used to doing it myself." And I say it out loud too when my husband is trying to help me. Eh, that's not very nice.
BUT GOD BLESS IT, IT'S TRUE!!
So, how do we combat this?
1) Be mindful of your feelings and thoughts.
There are several ways to do that and you can start by taking things more slowly than usual. Pay attention to your feelings. (I have sad/weird/lonely feelings cropping up now all over the place-when I see my husband's dirty underwear on the floor, I think, "Oh, I won't see that again for a long time...better soak it up." WHAT?!) Journaling is a great way to explore these feelings and responses to situations. If you can understand the underlying reasons behind certain feelings and behaviors, you are in a better position to help yourself deal with them in a healthy, positive and effective manner.
2) Open a line of honest and open communication with your spouse.
Remember, they probably will never know what you go through up to, during and following deployment and vice versa. It's a time to "pop the hood" on the relationship, as I say, and see how everything's working. You may find that there are some things that need to be cleaned up, refilled or replaced. Sit down and have a conversation about both of your emotions during this time. Let them know how you're feeling and if you have particular moments (like the dirty underwear...), let them know. Be okay with the fact that he may not be as broken down about leaving-he's a different person and that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. You will be missed...promise.
3) Make a list of 100 things you want to accomplish over the next howevermany months.
I saw the cutest idea on Pinterest from a blog (Jo, My Gosh!) that suggested this and I just LOVE it! Essentially, you create a list of things you want to accomplish over a timeframe (could be a year or the amount of months for the deployment.) Make it as many or as few as you want and be creative! Be bold! Be fearless! Be fun! I'll be working on my list over the next few days and I'll share it!
I try to tell the members of my FRG group that deployment can be a time to work on yourself, better yourself, care for yourself. Let them come home to a spouse that is happy and healthy, not ruined and wrecked. (Note: I have days, and undoubtedly we all do, where ruined and wrecked sounds like a vacation compared to the turmoil I find myself in. It's okay. Admit it, love it and move up and onward from it!)
A note. I am much more than a Navy spouse. I have passions, interests and traits that are completely independent of my husband or my affiliations to the military lifestyle.. So I'll sprinkle some of the MilSo stuff in with the regular old me stuff as well. This blog is not meant to simply focus on deployments or military lifestyles, but it is undoubtedly a HUGE part of my life
Cause let's be honest, deployment is a bitch.
How do you feel in the months/weeks/days leading up to deployment?